When two people are committed by marriage, complacency may play a part in their undoing if they don't pay attention. The importance of romance in any marriage is crucial; yet few are fortunate enough to avoid this phenomenon, since it is by human nature that romance wanes, often decreasing with time.
At one point or another, many spouses will question whether they can revive their love life, they may feel that their relationship is without romance, passion, or intimacy. Although these are separate aspects, the three items are interdependent, that must be consistently nurtured for marriage to work well.
Marriage as like a house
Think of your marriage as a house, foundation, walls, and rooftop. Without connecting each of these structures, the house will be incomplete and unstable.
Your relationship’s passion is the foundation of that house. The walls (intimacy), holding together the foundation and roof, (romance). The roof signifies intimacy; which involves affection, sexuality, and togetherness.
When the roof caves in...
With just some passion and romance, but no intimacy, the house is not complete. Something is missing. Let’s say that the roof is leaking and the ceiling has been rotting away for some time. Negligence is the only way a roof rots out. Likewise, if we remove one wall (intimacy), the roof will cave in on top of the foundation. Passion would then be corroded, as a result; obscured beneath the rubble so that we do not see the problem until we are tripping over it, or under it rather.
The metaphor may seem cliché, but it is not without merit. The fact is, successful relationships depend on romance, intimacy and passion – and that is why they are so important in a marriage.
Keeping it real
Maintenance is the best medicine; Checking in periodically, identifying issues as they arise, and solving structural problems before they get out of hand, are the ways to maintain the stability of the “house” that is your relationship. Likewise, the importance of communication, intimacy and romance cannot be overstated when it comes to maintenance.
YOU CAN rekindle the fire
Make sure to give romance the attention it deserves! Devoting time and attention to your spouse can rekindle your marriage.
After all If you are not happy in your marriage (one of the most significant relationships in your life). then whats the point!
Here are a few tips:
1. Kiss passionately – Kissing is great fun and a must. Indulge in deep kisses, but even touching and giving a peck to each other in the mornings and evenings, can help build intimacy between a couple.
2. Schedule time for sex –Romance in marriage requires commitment and priority. Scheduling time for sex is another great way to keep the spark alive. Of course, going on weekly dates or monthly getaways is also a special way to spend time with each other.
3. Fulfil your spouse’s romantic needs – Trying to meet your partner’s romantic needs requires understanding of their perspectives. Men mostly focus on physical intimacy and women like to be romantic in different ways. Try to do things that please your spouse, and they are likely to do the same for you!
To all the ladies out there.. As a Relationship and Sex Therapist, I have worked with hundreds of couples and the one thing I hear all the time is.. The pride a man feels when he is wanted by his wife/girlfriend makes him want to be a better man for them. It also stops them from thinking the grass is greener somewhere else because you are filling the most important need they have.(to be wanted)
Relationship and Sex Therapist
Do YOU know your LOVE LANGUAGE
If you know your spouses love language you can fill them up inside so they can overflow to you..
More on Love Languages coming next week Stay Tuned...